Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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