is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
