I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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