Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
