We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
