She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
