Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
