This is not my ceiling
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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