I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
