? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
