i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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