I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
