quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I want to fling myself into the sun
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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