Need sex. Gaining weight.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
