Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
