New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
