wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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