and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
