I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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