just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
