Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
