I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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