Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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