so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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