She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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