you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
