that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Your cock deserves a montage
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
