I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
