Pappa wants mamma naked
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Be still, my beating vagina.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
