I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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