I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
