Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
