the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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