I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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