Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
