508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
