after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
