well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He passed out mid-signature
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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