I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
All the doctor said was why
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
