I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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