You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
