Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
