Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
