Christians are straight up FREAKS
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I did not marry a roomba.
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