There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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