Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
