I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
