You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
