Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
