i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
