I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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